The only way I can stretch some of the muscles in my legs and hips is if I roll around on the floor doing all the things my Grandma told me not to do when I was young.

Knees out to the sides, heels tucked against ham, little kids sit like this. To stretch I slowly rise, then slowly drop again.

I’m the king of bongo baby I’m the king of bongo bong

Heh heh! This is a funny song!

Did he say that? If I listened to the song again would it be there buried under one of the layers of sound, the kind you only hear when your mind is relaxed and receptive, focused on the motion of the body and absorbing the sounds it hears?… or did it come from the kitchen!?

Hey look at this bacon, this is really good bacon. He did say this. He waved the raw slice.

Yes, let’s cook it. Hog jowls is good. Served with fried eggs and sesame bagels, coffee brewed to perfection.

(Please be ladylike and sit with your knees together.)

I can do front-back splits, and almost do side-to-side splits.

What wild woolley mad-professor hair, I like to bury my face in it, feel the tickle of soft auburn curls, inhale the clean salty good smell of his scalp. His hair grows straight up. It’s fabulous.

But he’s less approachable when he’s waving around a raw slice of bacon.

(Don’t bounce. Sit quietly. Either cross your legs, or fold them together to the side.)

I can walk around on my knees, turn a full circle, fast, in 8 counts, without bouncing, without rug burns. I can dance while on my knees, and will have to demonstrate to the wild-haired bacon-waver how this ability might be useful sometime soon. Ladylike, sure.




You are a Cabaret Belly Dancer! You're what people
think of when they hear the words "belly dancer" -- the beaded bra and belt, the
nightclub routine, the doumbek and the zills. Equally at home in a restaurant or at a
hafla, your routine is a crowd-pleaser no matter who's watching! Keep shimmying!


What Kind of Belly Dancer are You?
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